| Some 2K10 Goals by God's special grace n power |
- Paint entire house
- Set up entire downstairs including garage
- Reduce credit card debt by at least $2k
- Pay off any miscellaneous debt
- Most definitely get into a committed relationship
Most definitely send money to mom for a new car- Take time to develop relationships
- At least, 2 patents
- Aggresively work on developing iPhone App dev skills
- Create a webpage for DJing
- Expand my career breadth
- Visit London
- Join Toastmasters
- Create a will and a Power of Attorney 4 Healthcare
- Take complete control of soda drinking
- Work on taking a CPR class
SO, HELP ME GOD!
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| Some 2K7 Goals by God's special grace n power |
Finally buy some Nyja stocksGet a loaded Thinkpad or Sony VaioJoin MentorPlace n consistently mentorPut at least $2K in stocks apart from investment club contr. & 401kTake complete control of coffee
SO, HELP ME GOD!
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| Some 2K6 Goals by God's grace |
Have a white paper publishedWork on increasing payGet to the next band at workHelp renovate mom's placeGive mom n bro at least $*K each for weddingFinally visit Nyja!!!
Take a real estate class
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| My Videos |
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Go Getta. R. Kelly
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| Music I'm Feeling... |
- 2Face
- Ebenezer Obey
- KWAM 1
- Cassandra Wilson
- Pharell
- Ne-Yo
- T.O.K
- Don Moen
- D4L
- Teddy Pendergrass
- ColdPlay
- DMB
- Notorious B.I.G
- Delirious
- Dem Franchise Boyz
- Frank Sinatra
- Evanescence
- All-American Rejects
- Billie Holiday
- Seal
- Obesere
- KEM
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| Books I'm reading... |
Zero DebtThe Millionaire Next DoorThe Street Lawyer- African Women: Three Generations
- Communication, Sex & Money
- The J2EE Tutorial
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| Cities I Have Visited |
- ATL, GA
- Austin,TX
- Detroit, MI
- Houston, TX
- Charlotte, NC
- Corning, NY
- NYC, NY
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Friday, January 20, 2006
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Single mothers in Nigeria and "churchavanting"
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As I was writing a comment at a friend's blog earlier this morning, saying abe abo just reminded me of my Cele church days and the plight of single mothers and churchavanting (church+gallivanting like my friend called it) in Nigeria. At the age of 3 in October 1981, my dad gave my mom (with me, my younger brother and sister, who was 6 months old and 2 of my mom's cousins that lived with them) an ultimatum to leave the house before he came back from work. How cold! Nyja men and their fucking heartlessness!!! How do you tell a woman to leave the house you both built together before you come back with 3 of your kids (the youngest being 6 mths old)? Damn! No one wonder I forgot to buy him one thing when I sent a luggage of goodies to my family last December. I felt bad, but come to think of it, now I know why I forgot. Let me forget about that for now!
Anyway, after that we moved into my grandmother's one room and parlor (if you know what I mean) in Oshodi, right next to the main garage at Oshodi. It was terrible. That place was a GHETTTTO! Ok. I'm digressing again!
Omo, since then, I remember us going from church to church for various reasons. My mom (with my siblings and I) must have been to every church in Nyja. Name it, there was no church we did not go to. Kerubu and Serafu ni o, Cele church ni o, CAC ni o, Agbala Itura ni o, Aladura ni o, just name it. All the white garment churches and more that existed in Nyja. Everyone of them. I guess it was all in a bid to seek help to get my dad's mind back to normal cos I got to say that that man must have been mad cos his actions were just mind blowing. He had to be on some African science (Voodoo), my mom and her family (actually even some of his own family too thought the same apart from his sorry ass mom - I ended up liking her before she died though. God bless her soul) thought. And also to make sure we were safe from any possible African science-based harm, I perceieved. Nyja seffu!!! We went under ABE ABO, we did the IWE ODO SISAN (river bath). The HOLY WATER! The IDA MICHEALI thing. The ORORO MIMO. We did it all.
It's interesting to see that almost everyone of my friends that grew up with their mothers after their dads went crazy and married another bastard junior wife (I don't know how you marry a married man, don't you realize that another woman will do the same to you?), went through the same. Their moms, as single moms, took them to every church that you can think of in Nyja especially the white garment churches. Most of them remember going to several churches with their mom growing up. In fact some of them (the kids and the moms) were even WO-LEADERS and ELEMI 4 CORNER! LOL! ;) It just really tells me how much single mothers go through a whole lot in Nyja. It's just really saddening and I really commend them. All their moms lived for was them (the kids) and they did whatever it took to make sure they were fine and they were safe from their worst fears - African science. At least, that's one reason, apart from many others, that I think most single mothers in Nyja go (and went) from church to church. My prayer is always that their travails for us will not be in vain and that those sorry ass dads and polygamous men will rot in hell. Ok maybe not the hell part! And most of all, that I and many such sons like me, will never ever be like them by God's special grace.
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posted by Just Thinking Out Loud!
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10:23 AM
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| 12 Comments: |
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This is deep! I feel you though, my mum went through exactly the same drama, the only difference is that she brought us to yankee shortly after. And I tell you I have mad respect for her because she was the ultimate hustler! The only way we can ensure that their suffering was not in vain is to be there for them and remind them through words and action that they are appreiciated. Loruko Jesu won a jere wa o!
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Omo das deep.. My mumsi was a single woman too in Naija the difference she was muslim and her dad was an Alfa so you best believe we were kewuingg every chance possible lol. Mumsi handled it well though and the "Dads".&raised brow*. omo no comment. I hope the dudes of our generation will be more responsible.. Thumbs up for this post..
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Wow that is very deep!
I can relate to this story as well, my mom was a single mom and ditto to queenb she dragged all of us here to the Uk kicking and screaming! Oh well all i can say is moving and brings back memories
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Only in nigeria will that sort of crap happen.Or maybe not.Im not from a single parent home but im guessing the best we can all do is make out parents proud.
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Very deep indeed. I can relate, momsie wasn't single but went through the same thing to save her marriage and 'hold' the family together. We were seperated for 8 years from my dad cos of a job assignment and during this period popsie 'F'd up majorly. (I became Inspector Gadget) My sibs and I ganged to psyche our mom to leave for the states but she wasn't going to let her 'enemies' have the last laff or open the door for the bastard junior wife material and home wrekcers. She dragged us to church, brought all sorts of religious penchants to the house and we thought she was losing it. But it was well worth the trouble to hold the fort down. So homie you aint alone!!
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YAY! Watched american idol and all i can say: funny! the 16 year old with her mother talk about DUMB BLonde!!!!!
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Haha. If I was paranoid schizo, I would have said " this fool is talking about me"
We won my pop back at the end, and the second woman left for good, not without a fight (physical,psychological, and spiritual). He's still trippin though. Close to two decades after, I heard some new woman still sends him text messages discretely.
I grew up paranoid as hell. My mom told me not to let anyone from the village touch my head, and I was dead meat if I ever ate from any one in the village.
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LOL Okafor... Talk about paranoia--we were banned from one of our anti-mom aunties home for 7 years... happened when I was 7. I didn't enter her house till I was 22. When we were younger would not even walk in front of her house for the fear of getting jazzed.. that's a blog topic for another day.. LOL.
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to dqueenb:
you're right. We can only pay them back by being there for them.
to yetty:
We (dudes of this generation) better be cos remembering what many of our dads did is just demoralizing.
to uknaija:
Thanks! Harsh reality of life.
to nneka:
She did what she thought best. Don't tell me you haven't been to nyja in years o!
to jaemellah:
you're right. It can't happen here in US for real. Na yam! And yes, all we can do is make them proud.
to adaure:
:) "she wasn't going to leave and let her enemies have the last laugh." I feel the woman, straight up! She wasn't losing it o! I'm not a woman but when I think of what those women go through in Nyja, I just can't blame them when they hold down the fort.
to nneka:
She was DUMBER than a MOFO, like they say.
to okafor:
lol! I'm glad you guys won your pops back. left for good? that's great. I definitely remember that one of not letting anyone touch your head. lol! And the food one too!
to adaure:
I can relate with that liek mad. lol!
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Wow, really deep.I had a friend who went thru the same exact thing..they finally left the Cele church cos the kids freaked out one day when their mum fainted in some sort of spiritual chant. Are you religious now cos none of them are
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to taureanminx:
I am not as religous as I was some years back but in my heart of hearts, I am cos being close to God gives you peace that nothing or no one else can ever give you.
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This is deep! I feel you though, my mum went through exactly the same drama, the only difference is that she brought us to yankee shortly after. And I tell you I have mad respect for her because she was the ultimate hustler! The only way we can ensure that their suffering was not in vain is to be there for them and remind them through words and action that they are appreiciated. Loruko Jesu won a jere wa o!