Just Thinking Out Loud!

Just an immigrant in US with a positive attitude towards life. Here thinking out loud about sex, Nigeria, love, friendship, religion, spritiuality, family, history, mistakes, DJing, gadgets, sports, credit, technology, hobbies, politics, Africa, jokes, relationships, gadgets, finances, money, investments, Nigerians in the diaspora and so on and so forth.

Some 2K10 Goals by God's special grace n power
  • Paint entire house
  • Set up entire downstairs including garage
  • Reduce credit card debt by at least $2k
  • Pay off any miscellaneous debt
  • Most definitely get into a committed relationship
  • Most definitely send money to mom for a new car
  • Take time to develop relationships
  • At least, 2 patents
  • Aggresively work on developing iPhone App dev skills
  • Create a webpage for DJing
  • Expand my career breadth
  • Visit London
  • Join Toastmasters
  • Create a will and a Power of Attorney 4 Healthcare
  • Take complete control of soda drinking
  • Work on taking a CPR class
SO, HELP ME GOD!
Some 2K7 Goals by God's special grace n power
  • Finally buy some Nyja stocks
  • Get a loaded Thinkpad or Sony Vaio
  • Join MentorPlace n consistently mentor
  • Put at least $2K in stocks apart from investment club contr. & 401k
  • Take complete control of coffee
SO, HELP ME GOD!
Some 2K6 Goals by God's grace
  • Have a white paper published
  • Work on increasing pay
  • Get to the next band at work
  • Help renovate mom's place
  • Give mom n bro at least $*K each for wedding
  • Finally visit Nyja!!!
  • Take a real estate class
My Videos
Go Getta. R. Kelly
Music I'm Feeling...
  • 2Face
  • Ebenezer Obey
  • KWAM 1
  • Cassandra Wilson
  • Pharell
  • Ne-Yo
  • T.O.K
  • Don Moen
  • D4L
  • Teddy Pendergrass
  • ColdPlay
  • DMB
  • Notorious B.I.G
  • Delirious
  • Dem Franchise Boyz
  • Frank Sinatra
  • Evanescence
  • All-American Rejects
  • Billie Holiday
  • Seal
  • Obesere
  • KEM
Books I'm reading...
  • Zero Debt
  • The Millionaire Next Door
  • The Street Lawyer
  • African Women: Three Generations
  • Communication, Sex & Money
  • The J2EE Tutorial
Cities I Have Visited
  • ATL, GA
  • Austin,TX
  • Detroit, MI
  • Houston, TX
  • Charlotte, NC
  • Corning, NY
  • NYC, NY
Friday, August 18, 2006
Sold-out Commitment

Word Up!

Without commitment, there can be no lifting or promotion.

~ Eyan

First of all, ni pato oro(briefly), a hearty Congratulations to my friends on their recent great feat! Ok. Last weekend went to MD. Went to the NyjaFest which was cool. It was good but the much more spacious venue, I believe, made it seem less interesting than last year's event. It was great seeing more Americans than I saw there last year. I usually like meeting open-minded Americans that go out to see what other cultures have to offer. All in all it was great and will do it again hopefully with my own tent next yr delivering some kind of service or product. Met a lot of folks from my alma mater and it almost made it feel like a reunion. Mehn, peeps are doing big things for real! I just always feel very inspired every time I go to MD and see how folks are doing. Always!!!

Heard some words about commitment this last weekend and I have to say that that is one foreign word to me. It got me thinking about the relevance of that word in my life. That word is one word that has barely had any relevance in my life for quite a while. Just name the aspect and it barely, if at all, has any poignance. When it comes to non-platonic relationships, absolutely appalling. Platonic relationships, same thing. Awful! Never keep in touch with people! Religion, inarguably willy nilly. Other aspects of my life? Nothing to write home about too when it comes to being fully committed. I really don't remember being completely committed to anything in years...in about the past 4 or 5 years.

The only thing that I have been quite committed to in the past few years is my job. And I guess that's becos I have no choice...man got to eat at least. And come to think of it, even that, I am not necessarily the most sold out. I am one of those that just always gets his job done somehow and by God's grace, it usually comes out great! Not like my mentor who is just sold out. His job is his life. I mean... I actually admire that but just haven't been able to be sold out like that in a while. I remember being totally and completely embedded in Web Development back in the days. I knew every technology out there. But now, that commitment is not as strong as then. I still know a good number of them but not as much as then. Anyway, it's still there, at least. But any other aspect of my life? For where?

I have always admired people being committed to a cause such as religion, politics, social justice, youths, volunteerism, corporate governance, social issues, etc. I, as a person, have been committed to some of those in times past, but in recent years, I have not even been close to committing to anything. Be it religion, be it social issues, be it youths, commitment hasn't been my passionate forte at all. I must say, though, that I have actually been good with social volunteerism being part of Habitat for Humanity and quite a number of youth-based science and engineering events every year for the past 3 years. But that "sold-out" spirit is just not there, like I see in some people and had some years back.

And when it comes to relationship, damn! ...no comments...for real! I was talking to a friend of mine last night and I had to think out loud at a point in our conversation. When was the last time that I had a clearcut committed relationship where we were girlfriend and boyfriend. Almost a decade!!! Gaddem! Damn! She was like Damn! : ) The last time I introduced anyone to someone as my girlfriend was in 1996 in Nyja. WTF? Now, that is absolutely and incredibly dreadful!!! Dreadful is an understatement...for real. But...hey...it's the truth! Camouflaging the truth does not in any way alter it! Mehn, I have dated more people than the number of Nigerian movies released in one month. Ok....maybe not that many. Actually, I didn't date anyone for most of those years cos I was sold out to the most important person in life. But since that has become otherwise, I have had great relationships (and I mean really great relationships) with people a very good number of times, but just refused to commit to them and made it known. Every time it got to that point where the next step was commitment, I just always made it clear that I was not interested in that level. I have just believed that if you know you are not ready for it or if you know you don't like this person enough to leave all, don't do it (Never understood why people get married or committed and still fuck around, but that's for another day). When it comes to relationships, I have just always believed you either FULLY committed or nothing rather than commitment with contrary actions (at least with the last girl I was ALL in). I am in no sense proud of this, but oto ni oto (truth is truth). There are several reasons for this, but I will that for another time.

Anywayz, just thinking about all these and seeing the manifestations in the lives of those who are committed to a cause or someone and in my life when the sold-out spirit was eminent, all I could think was that the commitment nature (be it in relationships or not), is one of the secrets to being a star! Whatever I am doing I have to do it with all my might like the Good Book says in order to become a star. It is definitely not an easy task and it takes getting out of my regular self, but without it, I can only be in the ordinary majority. Be like everyone else on the street. I've got to be committed to make a difference and be a difference. Have you seen a man diligent in his business. He shall stand before kings and not ordinary men. Commitment will always make me the best and consequently promoted and then consequently a star...actually a superstar. For instance, if there is one year that I was completely sold out to my job, it was last year, and guess what, by God's grace, I got promoted this year like I needed. It doesn't necessarily always work that way, but in my short life here, one of the things I have come to truly see as certain is with consistent unrelenting commitment in anything I do (be it sales, be it medicine, be it law, be it barbing, be it whatver), promotion ALWAYS comes. That's why I need to catch that spirit again. I, more than anyone else in the whole wide world, need this complete sold-out spirit in every aspect of my life once again and forever. One of my greatest desire in life is to be an epitome of excellence in life - in my marriage, relationships and every other aspect of my life. Right now, very far from it. I will definitely need commitment to make it happen. Got to get it back and even more than ever! God help me!

ok. enough of the thoughts. I am glad Google finally updated the long abandoned Blogger. I can now categorize my entries like Typepad and some of the other services allow you to. Here is more info about that - Google's Blogger Updated.

For the enterpreneurs and business-minded like Onada and Buki81 here are some useful tools - 20 Great Resources for Enterpreneurs. Also, this might help some folks - Best states for Businesses. Glad one of my favorite states made the top 5.

There are lots and lots of digital photographs folks out there. Thought this article might be very useful - 10 ways to make your digital photos last forever.

And now, this is an excellent excellent deal a 1GB USB Drive for all those files for just $15.99. Even with shipping it's still a deal. And no rebates too. Wow! that's a good deal for sure. I wish I lived in Marietta, GA. That way I could save that extra shipping charge. : )

And this is one of the funniest sites out there to me - South Park Quotes. Don't watch the show avidly but I love it. That is one crazy show! : )

Ok. ok. TGIF! Like I used to pray as a kid, I pray everybody in the world has a wonderful weekend. Enjoy! :)
posted by Just Thinking Out Loud! @ 12:33 AM  
4 Comments:
  • At 8/18/2006 01:43:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That is quite a track record...'96?! Wow...i feel you though, sometimes it's just not worth it going through all the motions of a relationship really. With that much time that you've had being non-committal you'd atleast be clear on what you want/can give when it comes around.
    Microcenter always have good deals on the latest technology.I saw that flash drive on sale too and i just might get me one cos my latest is having some compatibility issues with my PC.It has worked just perfect up until 3wks ago once i plug it into the USB port it just freezes the whole sys. up even the mouse. Also if left plugged in,the OS won't boot up either. Any help you can render?
    Sorry to have loaded up your page with such a long comment.

     
  • At 8/22/2006 01:24:00 AM, Blogger Just Thinking Out Loud! said…

    to JJ:
    Yea. crazy record i know! "...'d at least be clear on what you want" - that's quite an interesting perspective cos I definitely know what I want in woman. The picture is very clear in my mind, but we'll see though.

    Just found out about Microcenter on Fri. Before now, I have always been an addicted Geeks.com and Tigerdirect stores' fan but will be trying microcenter now. Great site!

    About the USB Drive, the first thing I would do (I will assume you are on XP) is to make sure you have Windows XP Service Pack 2 installed. You can get this from the Windows Update site. It should have the Hispeed USB 2.0 drivers needed for most USB drives these days. About the OS not booting up on starting the PC with the drive in, that's kind of unusual, but it makes it seem like it is trying to boot from the drive which should doesn't have an OS and this should never be the case. Either way, I would just remove it from the system to allow it to boot up. Highly unlikely, but also hope the USB interface hasn't developed issues. There are other possible issues but for me to troubleshoot a system, I usually have to play around on the system myself. However, I will definitely start with making sure that I have XP2 installed. Also, you can try testing another USB drive from a friend or so to do a process of elimination with your own USB drive. Ok. I could go on and on. : )

    And you are not loading my page with long comment. It's cool! Enjoy and good luck! Pls let me know how it goes.

     
  • At 8/22/2006 07:40:00 AM, Blogger soul said…

    hey nyjaguy,

    how about intimacy?. can you expantiate a bit further re: not being commital. the reason I ask, is because we all have diff definitions of commitment.

    You know, sometimes I think men don't understand that sometimes women are looking for open but respectful relationships.

    For instance, many people have 'friends with benefits' because they don't want to settle down yet, but they want a physical relationship.

    It goes back to that whole thing where if a girl told you that hey she liked you, and would like to be intimate with you, but not commit to a relationship.. will you still respect her?. Because right there and then, she is telling you that hey, she's not interested in a long term commitment but she is interested in you.

    Personally, I'm very much into intimacy. which requires a different type of commitment. Which is openness and honesty.
    I might date someone for 3 months or a year, it doesn't matter.
    i just want to have beautiful experiences.

    you feel me?

     
  • At 8/25/2006 12:15:00 PM, Blogger Just Thinking Out Loud! said…

    to soul:
    lol! Mehn I feel you o! There might be different levels in a relationship but I think when it comes to commitment, I think it's one and that's it! BAM! ok. maybe I will call it complete commitment cos there really could be the case of commitment to being with each other respecfully while doing whatever out there.

    Mehn, this your open but respectful relationship! Hmmm... where are they? Many women say that but it always ends up getting deeper or let me say they always end up wanting more. Almost always, at least!

    I have never seen any woman as a whore or whatever anyone calls it regardless of what she does sexually. I thin you're right many times, guys, especially Nyja guys look down on a woman because she's sexual or she's cool with friends with benefits and it really pisses me off. It's ok for we guys to do whatever, but it's not ok when it's the woman's time. What a world! We Nyja guys really need to realize that just like we like sex, women do too and don't look down on them or call them whores or some bullshit like that. If we can, why can't they? Ok. I'm digressing too much here. : )

    To be frank you summed up my life for a while right there - "I might date someone for 3 months or a year, it doesn't matter.
    i just want to have beautiful experiences." Yep. At least till I am ready for full commitment. And I have had great times in almost all, if not all, the relationships I have been in so far, though without total commitment. I really regret not comitting to one of them though when she gave me a chance, but let's leave that story jare! : )

    For me, commitment means, it's you wholeheartedly and no one else. Kapush!!! It is not something that should be done till you know you want to do it or till you know you can do it with the person. However, as people, regardless of that, what matters most is both sides knowing what they have and actually being able to truly and sincerely deal with it. ok. oro po! : )

     
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Name: Eyan
Email: nyjaguy@gmail.com Home: United States
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