Just an immigrant in US with a positive attitude towards life. Here thinking out loud about sex, Nigeria, love, friendship, religion, spritiuality, family, history, mistakes, DJing, gadgets, sports, credit, technology, hobbies, politics, Africa, jokes, relationships, gadgets, finances, money, investments, Nigerians in the diaspora and so on and so forth.
Some 2K10 Goals by God's special grace n power
Paint entire house
Set up entire downstairs including garage
Reduce credit card debt by at least $2k
Pay off any miscellaneous debt
Most definitely get into a committed relationship
Most definitely send money to mom for a new car
Take time to develop relationships
At least, 2 patents
Aggresively work on developing iPhone App dev skills
Create a webpage for DJing
Expand my career breadth
Visit London
Join Toastmasters
Create a will and a Power of Attorney 4 Healthcare
Take complete control of soda drinking
Work on taking a CPR class
SO, HELP ME GOD!
Some 2K7 Goals by God's special grace n power
Finally buy some Nyja stocks
Get a loaded Thinkpad or Sony Vaio
Join MentorPlace n consistently mentor
Put at least $2K in stocks apart from investment club contr. & 401k
Take complete control of coffee
SO, HELP ME GOD!
Some 2K6 Goals by God's grace
Have a white paper published
Work on increasing pay
Get to the next band at work
Help renovate mom's place
Give mom n bro at least $*K each for wedding
Finally visit Nyja!!!
Take a real estate class
My Videos
Go Getta. R. Kelly
Music I'm Feeling...
2Face
Ebenezer Obey
KWAM 1
Cassandra Wilson
Pharell
Ne-Yo
T.O.K
Don Moen
D4L
Teddy Pendergrass
ColdPlay
DMB
Notorious B.I.G
Delirious
Dem Franchise Boyz
Frank Sinatra
Evanescence
All-American Rejects
Billie Holiday
Seal
Obesere
KEM
Books I'm reading...
Zero Debt
The Millionaire Next Door
The Street Lawyer
African Women: Three Generations
Communication, Sex & Money
The J2EE Tutorial
Cities I Have Visited
ATL, GA
Austin,TX
Detroit, MI
Houston, TX
Charlotte, NC
Corning, NY
NYC, NY
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Word Up!
If you are error-free, you're likely effort-free. ~ Somebody
What is this I hear about MS at the negotiation table for eBay? Wow! Rumor has it that the Big Bill is working on buying eBay in order to strengthen MS' internet portfolio. All in fear of the growing mammoth - Google.
I think MS is beginning to recognize its new Daddy and scrambling to keep afloat in the internet space with all the so-called LiveSearch, Windows Vista, Live Messenger, Live this and Live that. Their latest catch is now eBay. Wow! They definitely want to somehow "Live" in the e-space.
But my own thing is how far do they want to extend their monopoly? I mean eBay? They want to monopolize the auction world too? Just like they did with the OS world and thought they had achieved with Hotmail but thanks to the phenomenally user-friendly Gmail.
To be frank, I really don't see how eBay fits into MS' product base, though I can imagine them integrating Skype (eBay's new baby) into their monopolized OS - Windows - which might actually spread the Skype gospel farther than we can imagine. However, I just don't see how eBay fits into MSN.
And my greatest fear is that MS will somehow corrupt the openness of eBay with its proprietary habits. Before you know it, eBay will only work on IE and Windows OS! Hey, it's MS...these guys can make anything proprietary in no time.
It's obvious that this move is due to Google fear. I just hope Pierre Omidyar, Meg Whitman and the rest of them won't let the love of money (which we all have anwyayz cos the deal will be worth billions and billions of dollars if it happens) won't let them fall for this BS move...
Extremely useful info for those with student loans!
I have been hearing about this for a while on radio and everywhere (especially on Clark Howard show - he is been blowing the horn on this like never before in recent months). For those with students' loans, the rates are about to jump, so now is the time to consolidate your student loans and secure a low rate. Here is more info:
I have waited for this movie for 3 good years. And IT IS FINALLY HERE! X3: the last stand!!!!! From all that I have read, Brett Ratner (brought us Rush Hour movies) did an excellent job with the movie.
It is sad to see Jean Grey move to Magneto's side. Quite a twist...all in the bid to place Phoenix in the plot somehow. And Mr Iceman is about to leave my dear Rogue for Kitty Pryde (or so I hear). That will be interesting. After she has been dying all these years to give him the kiss of life. And Beast? Would love to see him in action. I really hope Pyro, Colossus (the steel guy) and Kitty Pryde (walks through walls) will feature more as I have heard hints of so far.
The whole idea of seeing super heroes die will be quite an interesting one. Look forward to seeing this. I just hope my beloved characters won't be on the death row list though. This is the only movie I have cared for all year. I can't wait to see it this weekend. I'm just mad this 3rd feature cannot be part of my box set.
My office mate has been out for at least 6 months now. She was on maternity leave and then afterwards decided to work from home pretty much 98% of the time. Been loving it! I get to surf the net when I want to, I get to stay on the phone without being too careful about me speaking Yoruba or *beeeep* like that, I get to eat my Nyja meals without me being worried about how the smell affects her (though she has never really cared but somehow I'm just still always worried about making sure she's comfortable enough), I get to read all these people's blogs online (numerous favorites, some of which are Obi, Soul, Serial Dater, LondonBuki among a host of others), I get to fart and burp without caring about gasing out my office mate like a coworker calls it and every personal thing thinkable.
But this week, all that changed...just for a few days though. My company acquired a competitor recently and we have to integrate one of their UIs with an existing portal (also acquired some years back). Corporate world and acquisitions. Acquisitions! acquisitons! Acquisitions! That *beeep* is killing me, but that's a different story entirely. I spearheaded the integration of our own UI with this new portal last year, so I was an automatic fit for this newly acquired UI that needed to be integrated with this same portal. So, this week one of the acquired UI's developers was sent from another state to work with me for 3 days in order to help jumpstart the project with a prototype. I was kind of nervous about this initially and was hoping damn, she better be a nice young single lady. But dammit, she wasn't! : ) She is really really cool though. Work is going great so far. It has actually been fun sharing office space with her in the office. It's just that now I actually have to get up to go to the bathroom to let the air waves flow. WT... I haven't done that in a while. I have just been letting it flow...in the office. And I had to eat my eba and stew on Monday before she came in too and haven't brought in more since then. She got me lunch on the house yesterday though when I took her out for lunch and to get to know the area just lil' bit, so that was cool. That's kind of the other way round, I know, but like she said, she's going to be refunded for it anyway..save your money. Don't know if to take her out for lunch again today. Hmmmm.....I just might get a free lunch again...hmmmm. Naaaaaaa. Freeloader! Got to go now...she's coming back in.
Your whole life is a series of effects, having their cause in thought - in your own thought. All conduct is made and molded by thought; all deeds, good or bad, are thoughts made visible. ~ James Allen
This immigration palava has been on for a while now and it has been quite interesting. But it is about to take another turn. Been hearing conversations about this for a while now - Neal Boortz, Michael Savage et al - but it seems like it's going to be up for debate sometime in the near future. For those that come here, have babies, get citizenship and go back home, it might not be looking good... I got to say, I have friends and relatives that have done this before, so it's obvious that I hate the idea of them changing this law like I believe Britain did (not sure about that). I really don't see them changing a law that has been in effect since 1868 that easily but with the unspeakable anger that this whole immigration issue has ignited among a lot of citizens, anything might be possible. I just pray the ammendment doesn't happen anytime soon! Actually...I meant never!
It has been years and I am very proud of your moves. I am proud you are doing really great for yourself - career, financially, relationship-wise, etc. You always had it in you! I won't go on and on and write much like I did with the loveliest mom; we will do too much of that when I see you again very soon by God's special grace. I really look forward to that.
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Like we say, Many Happy Returns of Day, Long Life and Prosperity, Hip Hip Hip Hooray! Happy Birthday and scores more to come!!!!
I am not a poetic or expressive guy at all (like you know mom) but I will say JUST A TINNIE LITTLE PIECE of my KIDDIE mind and freestyle. : )
It has been years since I have seen you face-to-face But I always thank God that you are the one God gave me to as a son I remember growing up as a kid After dad sent you packing All you cared about was the well-being of me and my siblings We moved in with Grandma at that dump called Oshodi You hated that place and vowed to get us out soonest You worked innumerable jobs Did the FDA job Did the minerals bulk sales job Bought stores and rented them out You did it all And truly, in no time, you got us out of that place
I remember our journey to school and to your work was greatly extended Due to the move You still did your thing Cooked our meals the night before with the greatest aunt in the world (Aunty F, I will save yours for another time :) ) Mom, you packaged our meals for the morning You woke us up in the morning Made sure we were well-dressed et al Got us in the car Made sure we ate our breakfast In the car It was difficult Cos we slept off eating breakfast many times But I remember you waking our asses up (sorry mom, I know you don't like that :) ) O ya je ounje ye nsin or else... (You better eat that food or else) You said Ooooooooooooohhhhhhh My siblings and I thought to ourselves Or else what mom? We thought to ourselves But we dared not think it out Never, Lailai! But Whyyyy, mom We said But you just never gave up You never did Rather than give up
As time went on, you even brought in many other kids Taking care of them like they were yours That always stunned me, I must admit But I got used to it I remember how you always got us to study so hard Quantiative Aptitude, Verbal Reasoning, Brighter Grammar, Larcombe's, Macmillian Name it As long as it had to do with our education You got it for us I remember how you grilled our lives with Math, Verbal, Sciences et al Even after a long hard day of work You still asked for our homework Checked it And gave us more for the next day You made me not just know Math You made me Math Like my friends called me in High School
You taught us How to behave ourselves as kids You helped us become some of the best-behaved kids ever One memory I can never forget Aunty F's mom, GrandAunty came around from Ijebu At least 2 hrs away She came with Big GrandAunty They came Knocked at the door Awa ni o, Mama F ati Mama M (It's us, Mama F and Mama M) E si ilekun (Open the Door) We looked at them through the peep hole or whatever E ka san ma (Good Afternoon Ma) We know you But Aunty ti ni ka ma si ilekun fun anybody (But Mommy said we should not open the door for anyone) I know, Aunty, right? But you know you are our Mom for shizee They tried Again...and again But to no avail You had told us not to open the door for anyone No matter who it was We made them wait outside till you came back at night : ) Till today, they still say it Nkan ti B' fun awon omo je, mi o mo (Whatever B gave her children, we don't know)
I remember my 10TH birthday party It was the biggest one I ever went to By then Dad was back You threw me the best birthday ever I can never forget it I still have the pictures here with me
I remember when it was time for Common Entrance (exam into High School) How you helped me study How you helped me fill those forms With our long last name problem : ) Remember, mom? How I chose FGCE and FGCO Command exam, Airforce exam, Baptist Boys Jos, Navy Exam, NMS exam For each one We went together You were always there Early momo You were there Driving me Sometime with my brother and sister coming with us It was fun During the exams break You were always there Right by the gate Waiting for me with plate of food You really are the greatest mom in the world
When the results came out You were proud of me No matter what I remember the trip to Baptist Boys Jos for interview My brother made it too You had to carry my sis On your laps Bastard Okada airline We went for the interview You stood behind us Like a rock That YOU DEFINITELY ARE
I can never forget When it was time to go check Common Entrance results At Federal Law School, Victoria Island We rushed to the Notice Board Huge One With names of thousands of students Grouped By schools Come, let's check FGCE first I ran behind you We went there Ok. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz We scrolled down on the list Bam You made it, You made it You yelled Ok. Let's go check FGCO I ran behind you Feeling on top of the world I couldn't wait for my Mr Biggs You had promised me Since the only McDonalds closed down Or so At the FGCO Notice Board Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Bam D, o make e, o make e (you made it, you made it) You yelled I was too excited myself I made both schools Wow Unheard of, you said Great Job You were dead proud of me
We ran straight to Mr Biggs I chose everything I wanted Mr Biggs Burger Mr Biggs lovely fried rice Mr Biggs Donut Ki ni mo je tan (What didn't I eat)? I can't remember Too much to remember all Got some for my siblings too as usual
I can never forget my first day in high school... You were there for sure
You know what, mom I could go on and on and on and on and on... You know the rest, mom
I really just want to say THANK YOU for being the greatest Mother In the Whole Wide World Like We said when were kids
For all your travails For all the clothes You sacrificed When all your friends were buying and buying For themselves All you cared about were your kids And other people's kids Our cousins And our cousins' cousins
In spite of my being a bad son : ) Not calling you as often as I should Not sending money to you as often as I feel I should Not being the most expressive son to you emotionally Cos the rest have always been more emotional : ) You have still ALWAYS stood behind me
In spite of my obstinateness And the crazy things I later did to you Back then Seemingly being ungrateful for all your hard work You have stayed solidly behind me
I really have not been the best of son to you since I came here But I have tried Maybe not as much As I could try But I promise I will even try harder Like you definitely know of In recent years and months
I want you to know that I appreciate you Immeasurably Actually I can't even put my appreciation For you in words And you know that too, mom I really appreciate you And love you with everything inside me
As long as God lives You will eat the fruit of every one of your children More than ever before And of your children's children And even your children's children's children : ) For sure You will definitely live to see limitlessly more Done for you By me By us In Jesus' name
I can't wait to see you I really look forward to that I just can't wait To see that world renonwed gapped unmistakable smile of Mrs .-.! A pade layo o! (God keep us till then)
YOU ARE DEFINITELY THE LOVELIEST MOM I LOVE YOU MOM AUNTY GBOGBO AIYE (Everybody's Aunty) Like everyone always calls you YOU ROCK, MOM! : ) HAPPY HAPPY HAPPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! LONG LIFE AND PROSPERITY HIP HIP HIP HOOORAY!!!! And many decades more to come for sure in Jesus' name!
Do good, no matter what! Ara e ati awon omo omo e lo n se fun. Ko n se fun eni to se fun(You're doing it for yourself and for your children's children - descendants. Not for the one you are rendering the good deeds to)! - Loveliest mom ever!
Found this on youtube.com. I have always seen him as the best rapper ever. This is him doing his thing at the age of 17. He weighed way less than what most of us knew much later. It never ceases to amaze me how much he had accomplished artistically by the time he died. Everytime I think about them, I just can't believe he died at 24. Sad he had to lose his life cos of some BS issues that was not needed.
I am not feeling too good today physically due to colds and headache, but emotionally, I feel great especially waking up this morning and seeing my missed calls. :) I know it doesn't mean jack but talking terms, at least, will be great. ok, that's by the side.
I really don't see myself as someone that God stresses himself about since I am not living the way He wants me to (I consider myself a churchgoer and not a Christian), but many atimes, He still makes himself real in my life somehow. And everytime He does it, it stuns me cos I just don't expect it. Yesterday, I had quite an experience. The weather was very bad most of the day with rain, lightning and thuderstorm battling it out. Regardless of the bad weather, me being my typical social self and free food hunter, :) I decided to go to a couple of graduation parties going on in town. I, with my friends, driving behind me, went to the first one and as usual, the first thing I did on getting there was eat. I had been starving myself all day in preparation for this food, so I didn't waste time at all. We ate. The food was great!!! Due to the short time we had left for the next one, we headed out to the next get-together immediately after eating. I kind of felt bad about that. Came, conquered the grubs and disappeared! But, hey...such is life. On our way to the next stop, the rain was pouring cats and dog. I could barely see and I had someone driving behind me, so it was kind of difficult to stay on track, but somehow we made it to our destination. Actually, the good part was as soon as we left the downtown of where we were coming from to get on the highway, the rain ceased to exist.
Anywayz, we got to the party. Saw the peoples as usual. We ate, hung out et al. It was definitely relaxing for me. At about 8.20pm or so, I decided to leave to go home. Less than a mile from my departure spot, I was driving and I don't remember what I saw, but all of a sudden, I pressed my brakes. And like a movie trick or something, my car veered all the way to the right...I turned the steering around trying to control the car's movement, but it didn't help. As I turned the steering, pressed hard on the brakes and fought to keep control, the car then went all the way to the left, heading towards an electric transformer installation by the side of the road. I turned the steering and stayed calm while trying to stop it from hitting the transformer. Few inches from the transformer, it swerved to the left again, making a 360 u turn and then made it again a couple of times, or so it seemed. It was like me being in Fast and Furious for real. I couldn't believe it. By the time, it was all over, I was in the middle of the road facing oncoming traffic. It came to a complete stop!!! "Whow! Thank God! Thank God!! Thank God!!!", I sputtered.
I got to say. That was a big time miracle for me because, if there had been traffic at the time it happenned. The cars would have hit me all over the place - left, right, center, everywhere. That's how bad it would have been. But by God's grace, no car was coming on either side of the road. I couldn't believe it. My heart beat must have inreased by at least a million beats within the few seconds this happenned. THANK GOD! After the car stopped, I immediately drove myself into the nearby gas station, paused for few seconds and continued my drive home. The cashier at the gas station was the only one there and he just stared in disbelief as he looked at me park for few seconds and then drive away.
That was the 2nd time of me experiencing precisely the same thing in the past 6 months. The first one was on a highway and miraculously, no car came around or hit the car I was driving as it swerved to the right and left during rush hour in the morning. That was definitely a miracle too.
God, right now, I see myself as just your creation and nothing more, but I really THANK YOU for being there for me in spite of my being a billion miles far from you and your ways. Somehow, you still always show that you care. I don't understand it at all, but you do. E SE O BABA! THANK GOD!!!
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
WHATEVER comes out from those gates, we've got a better chance of survival IF WE WORK TOGETHER; we stay TOGETHER, we SURVIVE! ~ Maximus Decimus Meridius from Gladiator
I have heard of dogs being used for sniffing all sorts - bombs, drugs and humans - but I haven't heard of this new one - DVD/CD-sniffing dogs. This is entirely new for sure. The first 2 dogs, Labradors named Lucky and Flo, that can sniff DVDs and CDs in people's bags have been trained at Stansted Airport in the United Kingdom. I'm sure those bastard MPAA members are very excited about this. They can curb the bootlegging of their products and thus make eve more money thatn they make now. This is definitely notewrothy to me. HTF do you train a dog to sniff DVDs. That's a good one for sure.
So, for all the bootleggers out there trying to carry those bootleg CDs and DVDs across the border, Good Luck! Lucky might bite you..... ;)
Comedy shows! Always loved them! All my life, I have always loved stand up comedy shows. Just always loved laughing. Life is too short to take many things too seriously. I remember staying up late night, as a kid, with my aunt to watch shows that featured stand up comedians like Ali Baba, Gbenga Adeboye and many other ones in Nigeria. My mom didn't allow me to watch TV past a certain time back then except my aunt was up watching with me, so I always begged her to please stay up and watch Ms Nigeria broadcast with Ben Bruce & co and a lot of other late night shows because I knew my favorite stand up comedians would feature. As I grew older and was allowed to stay up late to watch movies and what not, I got to know some other stand up comedians in the other side of the world such as Sinbad, Martin Lawrence, Wayans Brothers, Chris Tucker, etc and looked forward to seeing them live some day. Around the age of 19, I won the Green Card Visa Lottery and came down to the United States. The experience here, as I got here, I'm sure, like many others, is worth a whole book. I will leave all that story for some other time. However, since then, I have gone to see a lot of stand up comedians. As long as I had the opportunity, the money was there and it was in a 3hr-drive or less radius from my area, I went to see them - Chris Rock, Talent, Rich Voss, Rickey Smiley, Bruce Bruce, DL Hughley etc.
At all the times, I have gone to comedy shows, one thing has been common; I always go with a date or with some lady friend, like a friend of mine calls it. Always! Ok...maybe apart from this one time...when I went to see DL Hughley in New York with my partner in crime back then. I just always saw it as a must to go with a date. I mean...how the hell do you enter a comedy hall and you are there by yourself. It just always seemed more elegant to go with a lady, pretty one though. : )
Last week, Mike Epps (or Benjamin Epps like I called him to a coworker and he was like, WTF is that) came to town. Always thought he was the goofy funny ass type of comedian, so at the opportunity to see him live, I decided to jump on it and go to the Saturday show. As usual, I got my 2 tickets from a friend who had 2 spare tickets cos the tickets got sold out almost immediately. Then the decision time came. Had to ask someone to come with me as usual. Let's see...hmmm...who should I ask...should I ask someone that is just a friend with no strings attached whatsoever or someone that I am actually dating...hmmm...the person I would have gone with back then, she stopped picking up my phone calls since I got overly honest with her about the state of thing...ok...so let's see then...hmmm...since I don't have any girlfriend right now...who do I go with? Hmmm...maybe...You know what? Too much thinking...I beg...we'll see when the time comes close. Then one of my dear friends called me and told me she was having a cookout for her graduation on Saturday. Dammit! What would happen to my comedy show then! That means I can't make it. Mehn, whyyyy!!! Can I still go to the comedy show regardless or should I just forget it. I battled with that decision. Anywayz, after thinking about it a lil bit, I decided to look around and sell the tickets. I called a couple of friends and within few minutes, I got someone who was interested in buying them. As he said yes and asked me for the number of tickets, all of a sudden, hmmm...you know what...maybe I can still go...how about I just try going alone for a change. That way, I can go straight from the cookout and still come back immediately without having to pick up or drop anyone. "Just one ticket", I answered him. That was it! I had to go alone! For the first time, I was going to go to a comedy show alone. What!!!
Anywayz, I sold the ticket to him, though he wanted 2. He is precisely like me too; he always goes with dates. Even to just regular game night hang outs. Pretty much always! I call him the date master jokingly sometimes. : ) On Saturday, after going to one graduation party and then staying for some hours at the graduation cookout and hanging out with the crew, I bailed out to the comedy show alone. On getting there, I went in and I was assigned a seat surrounded by empty seats. WTF? Why do they have to put me on a seat surrounded by empty seats? How obvious can they make it that I am all alone? Look at all these people with friends or dates. :)! To be frank, I have always been the type that did my own thing and didn't care what anyone said, but this time, the empty surrounding seats weren't helping matters at all. WTF? I felt like everyone was staring at me. Lol! As usual, I scanned around for the ladies. I saw this really gorgeous ass, caramel complexioned lady staring continuously and every time I looked at her, she quickly took her face away and it was so obvious. She smiled looking away and I just smiled each time too. I chilled there alone for a little playing the looking game while and people kept coming in, but they refused to fill the seats around me. : ) Omo, after a while, I called some friends, that I knew, were coming and I got up, went to wait for them outside and came in with them as a group of 9. I couldn't do it! Lol!
However, I have to say that going alone felt really good overall. It might not be the best idea to go alone and sit alone but going alone and meeting up with friends was not a bad idea at all. Every one of us who was there had no strings attached to any other party. It felt strangely liberating. I didn't have to worry about impressing or not impressing some new date that I came with or wonder or some crap like that. I thought I was the only one who felt that way, but one of the ladies who were with us mentioned it later that night when I met them at the club. At the end of the night, I thought to myself, "You really don't have to always go with a date." All in all, it was mad fun for sure. I would definitely go see Mike Epps again when he comes around. And the dude that opened for him (some actor in some Preacher movie), outstanding! Look forward to him coming back to the area like he said he would. Would have loved to see it, but I hope people supported Mike Epps and saw the Mike Epps HBO special on Saturday night!
I think I might be doing it all alone when Rickey Smiley shows up later in the year too! For where (Hell NO)! lol!
Some Mondays back, I found myself in one of the most dreadful situations. It was an incredibly awkward situation, to say the least. I went to lunch with a friend of mine/neighbor. We got there at about 1pm. She had a craving for a Greek falafel. She ordered her veggie falafel and got this weird but tasty looking, well-embellished eggplant side to go with it. I, being my usual razz (ghetto) self, stuck with my same ol' Greek delicacy - beef kabob. We ate outside cos the weather wasn't that bad. We finished eating et al, talking about relationships as usual - about how she just seems to attract crazy guys (pls, like that's a surprise. the girl is super gorgeous and most very gorgeous women prefer "crazy" guys anyway), how saying all in relationships is very important in order to gain trust, etc. After eating, while chit-chatting, she just, all of a sudden, held her stomach. I noticed and asked her if she was ok. She gave the default answer, I'm ok. She then held her stomach tighter and I told her mehn, you don't look ok to me. I told her, maybe you need to go to the bathroom and relax. All of a sudden, she jumped up from her seat like someone that just sat on the tip of a sharp pencil like we did to people when I was in elementary school. I got to go, I got to go... She headed into the restaurant towards the bathroom. I rushed behind her to make sure she made it there fine.
I then went to the bathroom myself to kill some time. Came out of the bathroom...5 mins went...then 7 mins...then almost 10 mins... I knocked at the door to see if she was doing fine. She made an almost inaudible sound that indicated discomfort or pain to me. I waited a little bit more and next thing I heard her growling in pain. I asked her to open the door. By the time she did, she had thrown up everything she ate on the floor in the bathroom and she was on the floor crawling and struggling to move. I couldn't believe it! This is one of the prettiest, preppiest and somewhat anal ladies I have ever known and she was on the floor in a public bathroom crawling towards the door to lean on me. Wow! This must be bad! I lifted her up to wash her face with cold water (learnt that in Nigeria as a kid when I used to have some mysterious stomach ache consistently and threw up too). I tried to calm her down and asked if she could make it out of the bathroom. She said not yet and sat down on the bare floor in the bathroom again. I asked her what exactly was wrong and she said her stomach was aching her badly. It was killing her, like she said. I told her to try to do the #2 telling her that might relieve her cos that always worked (that's really more like works really cos every time I have stomach troubles and I do the doodle, I feel better) for me. She said she tried but couldn't. Throughout this time she was crying and struggling to stay steady, but she couldn't and I was trying to attend to her alone. The restaurant folks didn't know what was going on yet. I asked her if I should call 911. She declined. I tried to get her up as much as possible and asked her to try using the bathroom again...Next thing she told me, get out...get out...get out...I need to use the bathroom again! And BAM! She shut the door hard behind herself. I paced back and forth in front of the bathroom, knocking at the door periodically to see if she was ok. What in the world is this? I don't know this girl enough to be in this type of situation. God please help me o. Mo wa si lunch daran o! Still didn't alert the restaurant owners. I mean, I didn't know what to do. What would I tell them? Call 911, you have a sick person! Please help me, my friend is sick! A million and one things flashed through my mind as I waited for her to come out.
After few minutes, she opened the door. She was flat on the floor, crawling out, crying, with her hands wrapped around her stomach and wriggling in pain like I have never seen before. I dashed towards her and held her and asked her if I needed to call 911. "Please do, PLEASE!," she yelled back immediately. I finally went to talk to the restaurant owners and asked them for their phone. "I need to call 911; I have a friend in the bathroom that is sick," I said in haste. Called 911 immediately. I told the operator I needed help. She got my location and dispatched an ambulance. She stayed on the phone asking me several questions and said they were on their way.
Meanwhile, the whole restaurant (actually mainly the operators cos the patrons were out) had gathered around us while I held her in my arms and tried to keep her calm while I was on the phone. Did she eat this morning? Is she on any pills? Was she sick before she came here? Is she allergic to any type of food? I guess those ones were trying to exonerate themselves and make sure the issue was not food poisoning. Questions flowed from everyone while I talked to the 911 operator and held her in my laps and she squalled and wriggled in pain in an indescribable way.
nyjaguy, please help me! Please! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! nyjaguy, are they here yet? nyjaguy, when are they coming? nyjaguy, help me, please! Jesus!
She went on and on nonstop. She, spasmodically, went from a fetal position while holding her stomach tightly to stretching completely in a straight position. I tried to rub her stomach while I talked to the lady on the phone. She held my hand to her stomach tightly and flung my hands away from her body intermittently. No position seemed comfortable for her. I was totally freaked out!!! The way she wailed in pain was just dreadful. I myself could feel the pain. It was crazy. I remember killing a snake when I was in high school and I saw the snake wiggle and jiggle, more like wriggle in pain till it died. That was what I was looking at in front of me. Her actions, 4 real, reminded me of wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Bible. E gba mi o! (Somebody pls help me). What can I do? Jesus, please help her! Pleeeeaase! Should I rub her stomach? Should I rub her back? Should I hold her hands? I can't even hold her too tight. We are not like that at all. Where is this ambulance? They are taking forever! Help me God! Heelpp!!! Lady, stop rapping me and just f&*&&*# tell the ambulance to hurry!
The lady felt I was unbelievably calm for what she could hear over the phone and kept on telling me to keep her calm. I must have asked if the ambulance was on its way at least 20x and she kept on reassuring me that they were on their way, which I passed on to my friend each time. The operator stayed on the phone till the ambulance, which seemed to take forever, came. They picked her up and asked her which hospital she preferred to go to. These people are daft! Of course, the closest hospital! She's in pain for God's sake. And why in the world are you guys just taking your time with all these questions rather than just rushing to take her to the hospital. They settled for the biggest hospital in the area, if not in the state, and we took off. I drove behind them and called my manger on my way to let him know wassup. He kind of laughed at me cos he's always joking about how I'm this single crazy guy and I have to watch the parking lot before I run to my car everyday in order to avoid being stoned by women. This happenned since I told them (my teammates) about some experience I had with a date sometime ago. On the way, the ambulance was slower than Morgan Freeman in Driving Ms Daisy. They just took their time! It was dead annoying! No siren, nothing! The just cruised! Or so, it seemed.
We finally got to the hospital and they took her in while the free valet provided by hospital's ER took my car from me and went to park it. I rushed in to the ER and gave them my details (I commend them for this alone and nothing else cos the rest of their service sucked). I was given a visitor's pass and asked to wait. The ER was kind of full compared to some other ones I have been to. I called my 3rd job while I waited to tell them I might not be able to make it there. Those ones, of course, gave me hard time telling me how I had to look for someone to work for me. As if I didn't have enough issues for the day. Bastards! Why would I lie to you guys about being in ER? Actually, sure everyone does that, so I can't blame you guys. Anyway, it's not your fault! It's mine! I need the hustle while I have few bills and I need to send as much as I can to my brother. It's all good! I called some of the free folks to see if they could work for me. Of course, I couldn't get in touch with any of them. Dammit! What am I going to do? I guess I am just going to quit the job.
Next thing, she was brought out on a wheelchair to wait in the ER waiting room. I ran to her and asked her if she was ok. She said, no. Why would they bring her out with all that pain that I saw her in? These ERs folks piss me off! I sat down on a chair and dragged the wheel chair to my front with her face facing me in order to monitor her and possibly soothe her with words face-to-face. We called her mom and she said she was on her way - about 2 hrs away. I stayed there with her while she went into extremely excruciating painful episodes. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Aaaargh! Hmmmmph! Hmmmmph! She went on every few minutes, each time holding her stomach tightly with both hands with her upper body and her head on my knees. It was the most dramatically painful scene I had ever beheld in my life. And trust me, I know, cos I have been around sick friends and family in pain before. Everyone in the ER just looked at us as she cried and wailed in pain over and over again while I held her close to me and rubbed her back to calm her down each time. The ER folks ignored her and just kept on calling other people. I can't believe this shit. These people keep calling everyone else regardless of the apparent pain she is in. Why can't they just quickly treat her or at least give her something to subside her pain? Why? For God's sake, these people call it Emergency Room! I went to the desk a couple of times to talk to the nurses to please help her out soonest. They said no each time. She continued her episodes, each time progressively worse. She wobbled on the chair. Put her head on my knees! Held my knees tightly. I held her but didn't want to hold her too tight. I didn't know her that well. It was crazy! Everyone there just stared. I got to say, I was embarrassed! But I kept my composure and held her, rubbed her back, asked her to put her head on her knees and just stay that way as much as she could and assured her about how she was healed by Jesus' stripes. My Bible days came back! She was just uncomfortably in pain. Terrible pain, obviously. Many times, she even attempted to get on the bare ER floor, but I refused to allow her to do so. And the nurses just ignored her and moved on. At a point, while the nurses called the next person, I just got up and held the door and said someone really needed to do something. Can't they see? Others need the attention too, I understand, but pls give her something to ease the pain. "What if she dies," I told one of them. "She not going to die. No one is going to die here," she replied in a nonchalant manner. As I was talking, my friend went on the floor. She could no longer take sitting down. She had to lie down like she had been trying to do all along. She was on the ER floor in front of everyone. Finally, the nurse I was talking to decided to do something. She called someone and they finally came around. But it was of no use per say. The nurse who came out said that there was no space in the ER and there was nothing they could do. However, in order to expedite things, she should pee in a plastic he brought with him and let them proceed with her urine tests. "They just couldn't take her in," he said. No way. There was no room whatsoever. Wow! "Why is it called Emergency room," I asked him. I understand sir, but there is NOTHING we can do. Absolutely nothing!
He left and I lifted her to go to the bathroom. There was a lady that I had seen there that looked just like my church's assistant pastor's wife; I mean carbon copy. She had been watching the whole ordeal all along. She volunteered to help her out in the bathroom. Thank God! She was definitely God-sent. After a little while, they came out. She couldn't pee! Dammit! It's just to pee! Why can't she just try? Mehn, she's beginning to overdo this whole thing. : ) Naa. I can't blame her, jare! We sat down and I held her closely. She was still in pain but she seemed better now. Thank God! I made her drink water periodically in order to trigger the pee. After a while, I convinced her to go to the bathroom again and I called the woman to please help me watch her again. She gladly obliged. This time around, same thing. She couldn't pee.
She walked out, laid down on the chair with her head on my knees and I covered her body with the white sheet that was given to her earlier on. I rubbed her back as much as I could and told her to take it easy. I mean...what else can I say? I don't know! This is just really odd. She seemed to be in less pain now cos the gyrations stopped. After lying down for a minute, we moved to a less cold part of the ER. Thank God cos this time around, she walked by herself. Phew!!! Thank God! Her mom needs to get here quickly, Lord. That way, she can feel much better seeing her family around.
After few minutes, with no sudden pain splurge, I noticed she dozed off on my knees. Words cannot express how much I felt when I saw the absurdly peaceful, childish, impeccable, yet pain-ridden, puffy-eyed, red face on my knees. I really thanked God. Wow! Finally, she seems a little better! Thank God I was there with you her. What would have happened if she had gone to lunch alone like she had initially planned to? That would not have been funny at all. I guess all things work out for good, somehow.
As she slept, I turned back to look at the people behind me and I saw a tall, sunflower-skinned, well-dressed, older yet young looking lady with a dark skirt suit walking into the ER. She lighted the room up with her complexion. Behind her was a casually dressed, quiet-looking older, yet down-to-earth natured man with a pair of jeans, long-sleeve T-shirt and a baseball hat. Our eyes met and at the same time, one of the nurses directed them to where we were sitting. I figured they were her parents. They came down to where we were sitting and I must say that I felt incredibly relieved. The wave of euphoria and relief that went through me cannot be described with words. Finally, her family was around. She would feel much more comfortable now and hopefully will get better faster. I greeted them, we exchanged names and the rest ...
On my way out of the ER at about 5.30, the lady that helped her stopped me and said to me, "You are a good man." I said, "Thanks," thanked her for her great help and walked on. After I finished from work that night, I called to see how she was and she and her parents kept on thanking me saying that was really nice cos I just hung in there and didn't give up. Her room mate too said the same. To be frank, I told all of them, that's BS, anyone would have done the same. There was no way I would have left her! They insisted that that was not necessarily true. Even till today. Like I tell them and some other friends I have told the story, anyone in my shoes would have done the same and even much more. It just isn't possible for anyone to do otherwise!
I was talking to a friend of mine (best sister I never had, though she was mean to me me recently. u still are the best sister I never had :) ) earlier today on IM and she said something that I had never given a thought before. She said that we guys have it easy when it comes to getting married. "When you guys get married, your lives do not necessarily change that much. You don't have to change your name. You don't have to worry about going to join a long line at Social Security. Changing your IDs, Ceritifcates, Awards, etc. You don't have to get used to a new name. You guys? You just live on. No big deal.", she said (not exactly in her precise words, but you get the drift). I was like....hmmm....that's a very interesting one. I have never really given it that whole changing of names much of a thought at all. I have always seen it as oh yes, women have to change their names, blah, blah, blah...life goes on with the new husband and lifestyle. And that's it! No big deal!
As she said it, I realized that it's definitely not that easy for real. I mean, you have to change all your documents. You have to change your name at work and people at work get confused. They search for you in the company yellow pages and bam, they can't find you. Confusion! They have to be told that oh you changed your name, so, this is the new name to use as search criteria. I mean...I have a coworker that got married last weekend (he's on his honeymoon now as expected). This guy is going to come back to work next week and hey, no big deal, his life just goes on like nothing happenned. ok. maybe not, but at least when it comes to name change! But that will not be the case with his wife. She has to worry about changing her name at work and all that stuff. But for real, I can't imagine me changing my name. It can't be that easy. I mean...I have tried using my middle name when introducing myself in certain environments, but when the people there call me by that name, I don't even know it's me they are calling. And that's a name that is already my name, but I'm just not used to being addressed as. How much more a name that was never mine, but now has to be fully adopted!! We definitely have it easy as guys when it comes to this for real.
The whole conversation also reminded me of a conversation I had with another friend recently. I believe we were talking about something in the same line and she asked me, "what would you say if your wife asks you about you guys having a combined last name." Wow! It hit me like thunderbolt for real. I had never thought about that before in my life. I thought about it very deeply and replied her jokingly, "The problem with that is that I already have a compound name, so that will be a hard one." She replied, "Whatever! How about remove one of them and add hers?" Something like Adeloti-Peters which is structured like my current last name. I thought about it deeply and with all sincerity, I didn't see nothing whatsoever wrong with that idea. I told her, hey...no big deal! Of course, she said pls, whatever. But I actually meant it. I really see no big deal with that. I can actually do it without thinking twice. Life is too short to worry about such irrelevant issues. We are going to die anyway and the names will mean nothing. Names are just a form if ID. I actually think it's a great idea! It just shows how much you guys are truly becoming ONE, which is the way marriage should be to me. I know it's odd and I can imagine many people will be like what sort of man will do that. He must not be a man. Lol! It doesn't make me less of a man in any way. If anyone thinks so, they can cry me a river and jump! That's the way I feel! : ) And like my friend said, "You are Nigerian. Wait till your family hears that." They will think your wife jazzed you up (used voodoo power on you). lol! That's true. They will truly think that, but like my mom knows and always says about me, "omo yen o ma gboron o, but igbami ti inu nikan lo ma se (that boy is very diplomatic and listens but sometimes he does only what he wants to do without conceding to anyone else's suggestion)." They know if I say that I will do that I will. And besides, they just really need to sit down and think about it clearly from all sides and to me, I believe they will realize it's really no big deal too. As a man, I believe you really have to learn to be, me and my wife and that's it! Everyone else, go jump! If not you will destroy your marriage with the help of friends and relatives.
For me, it's crazy, I know, but it is really no big deal at all. I love my last name with a PASSION and I f&*#$$ mean PASSION but combining it with my wife's last name is no big deal to me, whatsoever! It just shows the power of ONE!
